21 Questions

Alright, I'm squeezing in one more blog, and then I'm going to sleep until 5pm. A few of us leftover from those Abercrombie days reunited last week for Robby. Jesus, how did a whole week pass already?! I meant to blog about it that very night! Anyway, Robby had an 11hr layover in LA, en route from South Korea to Michigan. We all got together and headed to the beach, grabbing dinner at Hennessey's on the Hermosa Strand. (My "Moo Cluck Oink Burger" was divine: fried egg, bacon, and cheddar cheese on top of the fluffiest, juiciest meat.) I hardly ever see these guys, but every time I do, it ends up being the most hilarious, utterly twisted, and thoroughly enjoyable time ever.

It was sunset, so the light was fading. Me and Rob.

So allow me to introduce my boys:
Chuck: Former coworker at A&F, who is a finance whiz and got me an almost 40% return on my investment--during these bearish times! Mad Money fanatic, typical yuppie, Howard Stern devotee, all tied together with a surprisingly good heart (he's from the South, ya'll).
Robby: Former manager at A&F, who is credited for initially bringing everyone together for good times. Avid blogger, voracious writer, and a hopelessly horny romantic. Plans on marrying his gf back home...then again, he says that about every girl he falls for, lol.
Rick: Former coworker turned manager at A&F, he's the reason I was able to stay on payroll and get the 30% discount without ever really working. Basketballer, working on his Master's, and also a hopelessly horny romantic. Rollercoaster of a love life lately, telenovela-style!

The Dorks (L to R): Chuck, Robby, Rick

So they like to play a game called "Would You Rather," which originated in the stores during closing time when the pounding, throbbing music would be turned off, and the eery silence looming over the employees folding clothes would force them to probe into the dark corners of their minds. Typical guy shit would be the grossest stuff you could conjure up, while girls would usually ask, "Would you rather date her...or her? [giggle]" Robby is disturbingly good at this game. "Would you rather take a double shot of heavy flow...oooooooor...take a double shot of really thick spooge? Would you rather give a blow job to a male dog oooooooor go down on a female one?" (The guys unanimously agreed to gobble canine carpet.) Seriously, when these guys get together, it's like an explosion of perverted wit and quips.

Rick: Would you rather get anal raped by a homeless guy with AIDS...except that his dick has spikes...oooooooor--
Rob: What do you mean spikes? Like, thorns?
Rick: Yeah. So not only are you getting AIDS, but you're getting torn up. Oooooor, you get a sex change operation.
Rob: Oh shit. That's a hard one. Uhm...I'd pick the homeless guy.
Me: Really?!
Rob: Yeah! I could probably survive AIDS; I don't want to go through life with a vagina!

Rob: Would you rather be in a room with your parents and have to finger your grandma without anyone knowing, oooooooor be at a family reunion with all your extended family, everyone, and have to give a blow job to Rick on a stage?
Chuck: I'd finger Grandma and tell everyone about it!

Later, after Megan (the girl Rick is dating) left, Rick and Chuck were on my case because I had gushed about her attractiveness.

Chuck: You totally want her, don't you?
Me: I don't want her, but I think she's really pretty.
Rick: Ok, but would you do anything with her? If you had the chance?
Me: [shrug] Probably.
Rick: That is messed up.
Me: What?!
Rick: I would never go behind your back and hook up with Bernard...again. I would never again sleep with him behind your back!

Haha. I love those losers.